You’re Not Worthy of Your Own Social Network, Despite Reassurance From Parents
September 8, 2008
Before mammoth social networking sites such as Facebook, MySpace and LinkedIn, the only “networking” you did involved 600 free hours of AOL and the Teenage Basement chat room filled with “a/s/l?” requests.
Social networking then entered the fray and helped bring together like-minded virgins. I have no problem with engaging in this form of community, despite my lack of virginity.
However, the trend didn’t stop with social networking sites. Suddenly it isn’t enough to simply be a member of a community. You think you need your very own self-centered universe.
This is where sites like Ning and CrowdVine surfaced to fulfill your inflated ego by allowing you to create and manage your very own social network.
What’s with the youcentric world? Are you the sun?
So Time Magazine named you Person of the Year in 2006. Big deal. Every 13 year old with a webcam, or anyone who’s ever downloaded the complete 3rd season of Stargate also shares that honor.
And so do Hitler and Stalin.
Even the third-party social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter let you broadcast every menial detail of your life. Some think this form communication is useful to the world. Myself and others think it’s about as valuable as an Elvis Presley Chia Pet.
“Tina is: feeling happy because her science project got an A+”…no one cares, Tina.
“Edward is: nervous about his date this weekend”…keep it to yourself, Ed.
Your mom, dad and pet turtle are the only ones who think your important enough to have your own social network.
Want to know if you’re really worthy? Unless you’ve appeared on the cover of Newsweek, People, Sports Illustrated, Reader’s Digest, Seventeen, Cosmopolitan, National Geographic or Playboy…you aren’t.